


Roommates

by karlaakamsloki (lababykarla)



Series: Tasertricks Tumblr Prompts [7]
Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-22
Updated: 2013-04-22
Packaged: 2017-12-09 04:57:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/770227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lababykarla/pseuds/karlaakamsloki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hellion-kat prompted: uhhh…just putting it out there but maybe something meme based between loki/darcy or steve/darcy? Darcy rick rolls Loki’s plans to take over the world Or Darcy teaches Steve about internet memes? <br/>****</p>
<p>“You have reached my number, please make sure to leave your message after the beep.”</p>
<p>“Jane, I need you to pick up the phone...I'm covered in green goo and I think I broke something. And-and Loki, fuck I think Loki is on fire... no wait shit scratch that Loki is on fire. So yeah get back to me... or get the Avengers or something. Okay thanks bye”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roommates

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I got off track with the prompt but I hope you enjoy anyway.

“ _You have reached my number, please make sure to leave your message after the beep.”_

 

“ _Jane, I need you to pick up the phone...I'm covered in green goo and I think I broke something. And-and Loki, fuck I think Loki is on fire... no wait shit scratch that Loki_ is _on fire. So yeah get back to me... or get the Avengers or something. Okay thanks bye”_

 

**

“Come on Jane, you promise you were going to show me New York.”

 

“Darcy I have to get this equations ready. I promise we'll go tomorrow okay?” Jane told her distractedly while she took measurements and readings from her laptop.

 

“But I'm only here for a few more days before I have to go back home, please Jane?” Darcy wasn't ashamed to say she was whining because she had spent money on this trip and had faith Jane would hold up her end of the deal, but apparently Jane was too busy to even see sunlight and what else was new really?

 

Jane shook her head and Darcy raised her arms in exasperation before stomping out of Jane's lab.

 

Just before she left the SHIELD building, she saw her iPod stealer coming towards her and Darcy was more than a little surprise to see him.

 

“Miss Lewis. Before I ask how you managed to get into a facility where the maintenance crew needs three different sets of keys to get into the elevator, let me just clarify that I did not in fact steal your iPod and I hope this persuades you to stop emailing me.” Coulson stood stock still in front of her and Darcy leaned back in defiance.

 

“Okay first of all your system isn't as good as you think it is, second you did steal my iPod because I don't have my iPod, I haven't it seen it since Puente Antiguo so excuse me if I don't believe you and I won't stop sending you clips of the avengers parody porn videos until you return it.” She poked him on the chest before stepping around him and leaving the SHIELD building.

 

She took a deep breath of smog filled air before she started walking in a random direction.

 

It was just after six when she started to think about going back to apologize to Jane, she made her way back until she realized she was lost but the sun was still out and any case she could take a taxi back.

 

Darcy wasn't clumsy, she never really fell as a child and as luck would have it she succeeded in heels, but she was unobservant.

 

Through out her life, Darcy had more than one embarrassing moment thanks to her lack of noticing things, these included missing obvious signs of her boyfriend using her as a beard, the one time she had arranged a study session with her math teacher only to realize he thought she was going to sleep with him to raise her grade, among many others.

 

So really she wasn't surprise when she missed the yellow warning tape and signs because she was looking at a store across the street.

 

Darcy did notice the gaping hole after she stumbled into the warning sign but that was only because she fell through it.

 

The first thing she felt was wet but the second, and really the important thing, was pain.

 

“Oh fuck, what the fuck. Who put that hole there?!” She tried to move only to feel a shot of pain shoot through her left arm.

 

She heard a scream coming from somewhere but her hair was on her face and her glasses were MIA, she was sure she wouldn't even be able to see her hand if she tried, which she really needed to do with the pain shooting up her arm.

 

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”

 

Darcy wasn't the smartest girl in the world but it didn't take a genius to know she stumbled on something she wasn't suppose to.

 

She swiped her face with the sleeve of her uninjured arm, the only part of her body not covered in something sickly green, and focused on the figure in front of her.

 

He was kneeling on the dirty floor over a crack, hands on top of it as if trying to hold it together.

 

“Wait, I know you. You're Thor's brother.” It took her a moment to realize what she had just said but once she did she cursed herself and her luck.

 

The whole invasion thing had been strictly need to know basis but with her self giving clearance she knew more than she needed.

 

Like the fact Loki was trying to take over the world and killing anyone who stood in his way.

 

“I am not his brother and you would do well to-” He didn't get to finish because the crack opened wider and fire shot through it.

 

Loki yelled before stumbling away from the crack, which was still shooting fire.

 

Darcy struggled with her good arm to take out her phone from her pocket, she faintly saw Loki returning to the crack, an enraged look on his face.

 

She held the phone away from her face as she tried to make sense of the of the touch screen display, it took her a few fumbling minutes before she was able to get to Jane's number.

 

She didn't remember leaving a message but she was pretty sure she did, before passing out she spied a green and black figure covered in fire.

 

**

 

She woke with a start, disoriented and a little loopy.

 

“Hey Darce, it's okay. You're in the medical wing of SHIELD.” Jane's voice was coming from her left side and when she attempted to turn her entire arm complained with pain.

 

“What the fuck happened?” Her memories were still fuzzy and she tried to move her good hand to rub her face only to have yanked back.

 

“What the fuck? Why am I handcuffed to the bed?!” She looked down and inspected her body, almost everything was covered by a blanket but she could move her feet freely which meant she was only handcuffed with her hands, well one hand since she could feel something on the other which meant she was on a sling.

 

“Give me my glasses.” She heard Jane grabbed something and the next thing she knew she could see her arm.

 

The sling was blue but her arm wasn't in a cast which was good news, she moved her arm tentatively and noticed that the discomfort wasn't huge but it did hurt and she resigned herself to not having her arm for awhile.

 

“Darcy.” Jane's voice was timid, hesitant. “Listen do you remember what happened?”

 

“Sort of, it's coming back to me now.” Which she actually didn't know if she was glad for.

 

“Good, listen about the handcuffs...Agent Coulson thought maybe they were appropriate because-”

 

“Because you're under arrest.” Coulson had somehow slipped into the room without her noticing and Darcy gave a short cry of protest.

 

“What? Why?” She looked at Jane but the scientist was staring worriedly at the back of Coulson, Darcy turned and realize there was a white sheet separating the room. She frowned when she realized how big the room was.

 

“You hacked into one of the most secure networks in the world. I don't know whether to recruit you or send you to jail.” Coulson's bottom lip twitched slightly, and Darcy sent him a scowl.

 

“How about neither?” The pain on her arm was getting annoying and she wanted some relieve though she wasn't about to ask the iPod stealer for them.

 

Before she could protest her unfair treatment, they heard a door opening and closing loudly.

 

No one came to her side of the room though and the other side was quiet.

 

“Who's my roommate?”

 

“Well see that's the thing Darce, technically both of you are getting arrested and you're both injured so it seemed natural to put you in the same place.” Jane bit her bottom lip and Darcy narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

 

“Who is it Jane?” Before Jane could answer though, the sheet was pushed back to reveal a sheepish Thor and a bed bound Loki.

 

“No, fuck no.”

 

“Lady Darcy _please_.” Thor looked tired beyond belief and Darcy stopped her renew struggling to look at him. Thor sunshine comes up my ass Odinson was pleading with her and Darcy turned her eyes to a furious looking Loki, who was thankfully muzzled and unable to defend himself.

 

She couldn't see how badly hurt Loki was because every single inch of him was covered up, either by blankets or gauze, his face was the only place she could see and what she could see was filled with tiny cuts.

 

“You look like shit.” Not very eloquent but it did make her feel better.

 

There a beat of silence before Jane exhaled and put a hand on her injured shoulder, the touch was soft and soothing and Darcy was thankful for the small assurance.

 

“Everything will be okay Darcy, I promise.”

 

**

 

They were going to be babysat by the the Avengers.

 

Loki's muzzle was gone but he still wasn't talking and both his hands and feet were bound to the bed, her restrain was gone too but every time she tried to stand up her legs felt like noodles and she sank back to the bed in misery.

 

Since Loki wasn't complaining or doing anything else, she took control of the remote and proceeded to watch whatever trash was on the crappy cable from SHIELD, though she was surprised they didn't have a more premium service being secret agents and all.

 

The first couple of days were a trial by error, most errors involved her seeing as her roommate couldn't even lift a finger without raising an alarm. The first thing she did was asked for her clothes because she could feel a breeze every time she stood up and that was not okay, the last thing she wanted was for a super villain to see her ass though instead Jane brought her new underwear and pajamas.

 

She wasn't allowed to have her stuff because she was a prisoner and that wouldn't be okay, it hurt not to roll her eyes every time someone told her that.

 

Loki slept most often then not but when he wasn't sleeping he would join her on watching tv, she was kind of fascinated by all the little noises he made when he was trying to convey emotions. He would grunt for displeasure and sigh for contentment and if Darcy hadn't heard him making the nurses cry she would think he was cat.

 

A good looking cat who tried to take over the world.

 

Which was probably why they were watching a re-run of Sabrina the teenage witch when Tony Stark came in.

 

“Reindeer games, wannabe Stark.” He was dressed in jeans and a band shirt, while carrying a briefcase.

 

“Wannabe Stark?” Darcy questioned, not looking away from Sabrina.

 

She thought she should be more impressed with the billionaire but Jane talked about them often enough that they didn't appeared greater than life to her anymore, especially when you hear Hawkeye farted on Bruce's face to see if he would hulk out.

 

He did, the ensuing chaos was televised and hilarious.

 

“I'm the original SHIELD hacker, no one better than me.” Tony puffed up his chest before dragging a chair between the beds and sitting down.

 

“I know what's better than you.” Darcy told him seriously.

 

“Oh yeah? What's that?”

 

“Your wifi.” She deadpanned before looking back at the show.

 

“True, True.” Tony kicked the briefcase under her bed and Darcy sat up and tried to bent down to take it but Tony put a hand on her uninjured shoulder and brought her back up.

 

“No chance, no touching daddy's stuff.”

 

Darcy pouted but didn't try again.

 

“How's Rock of Ages over here, any better?” Tony said conversationally, Loki didn't bat an eyelash and instead focus on Sabrina.

 

“This morning he made a doctor cry when he came in to check on his vitals, an hour ago he tricked a nurse into thinking it was tomorrow and she had slept an entire day.”

 

“So good then?”

 

“Yep.”

 

Sabrina ended and Tony stole the remote, ignoring her protest and changing the channel to the big bang theory.

 

“Science?” She asked teasingly.

 

“Science.” Tony confirmed putting his hands behind his head.

 

“How did you hack into SHIELD?” Tony asked during a commercial break and Darcy gave him a wink and shake of her head.

 

“Fine, don't tell me. I did it first anyway.” Tony gave a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders and went back to watching the show.

 

“That's not fair, I mean you have what? Thirty years on me?”

 

Tony looked scandalized for a second before crossing his arms and staring at the tv.

 

“Stark, shut up otherwise get out.” Both Darcy and Tony turned to look at Loki, a little shock written on both their faces.

 

“I created a hacker program and I installed it in Jane's phone before she left, it works like a virus. Once she hooked herself to the wifi in the SHIELD building I was able to get in...all the way from New Mexico.” Darcy confessed since they were all sharing, apparently.

 

“That's brilliant, if SHIELD doesn't recruit you I want you to come work for me.” Tony blurted rapidly, grabbing a device from his front pocket and handing it to her.

 

“Here, the latest Starkphone prototype. Let's call it a little gift for my future employee.”

 

Darcy inspected the phone and realized that even though it was small she could do a little damage with it, she gave Tony a big smile and shook his hand before they went back to watch the show.

 

**

 

Unfortunately their next babysitter wasn't as much fun as Tony.

 

Natasha Romanoff walked in with a grace of a dancer and the smile of a spy, which she kind of was.

 

She sat in the chair Tony had left behind before snatching the remote from Darcy's bedside table.

 

Darcy and Loki made similar sounds of displeasure when they realized Natasha was changing the channel to lifetime. Darcy was a girl, she made no claim not to be and she liked crappy reality shows as much as anyone else but even she had a limit and watching dance moms was too much.

 

Especially when she and Loki we're missing a new episode of Ellen.

 

“If you concede control of the device to Darcy, I will tell you one embarrassing tale regarding my brother.”

 

Loki looked like he was in physical pain and Darcy winced because Loki's only experience with dance moms was when she had finally decided to take a shower on her own leaving him with no choice but to watch it, she had been in there for over an hour and she had left the channel on lifetime after watching an episode of project runaway while Loki slept.

 

“Three.” Natasha bargained.

 

“Two.” Loki retaliated and Darcy felt she could slice the tension with a knife.

 

Natasha stared at Loki for a second before nodding her head and giving the remote back to Darcy.

 

“Darcy, kindly change the channel to say yes to the dress.” Loki told her and Darcy was surprised but changed the channel anyway, mourning the lost of Ellen.

 

It didn't take long to know why Loki had asked her to change the channel, the spy between them tensed and her eye started twitching but she was stubbornly staring at the tv.

 

“Oh I like this.” Loki chuckled and Darcy felt a shiver of fear going through her spine, even though it wasn't directed at her.

 

“Tell me about your brother.” Natasha insisted and Loki sighed dramatically before giving in.

 

“We were nothing more than toddlers the first time Thor forgot his undergarments, horribly it would not be the last...”

 

**

“I was going to take over the world.”

 

Darcy had been dozing off after Natasha had finally left, tired of holding the civil end of the conversation while Natasha and Loki had tried to kill each other with their eyes, but she jerked awake at Loki's words.

 

“What?” She rubbed her face with her good hand and stared at the ceiling, lamenting not being able to sleep face down.

 

“I was going to call forth the powerful creature which resides below Midgard's crust, it is said to be made of pure fire, but then you stumbled on the offering I had created for it and I had no choice but to stop it.” He motioned to his body and sighed in resignation.

 

“In this on going war, it was going to be my most powerful weapon.” Loki said sorrowfully before turning away from her.

 

Darcy opened her mouth to apologize but then she realized she shouldn't, Loki was trying to take over her world and slaved humanity and fuck she was not apologizing for doing something good.

 

“You're blue.” She said instead, hitting herself on the face after she heard herself talking.

 

“You mock me?” He told her angrily.

 

“No, just stating a fact. You're blue which is the reason we're all in this entire mess. There's nothing wrong with being blue, I mean have you seen some of the people here? People will do all sort of crazy shit to look different. There's seven billion of us and we all want to believe we're special so we change the way we look to make sure we do become different.”

 

Loki still wouldn't look at her and Darcy admitted defeat by turning her head away and closing her eyes.

 

**

Their next babysitter was the Hulk, or more accurately his alter ego Bruce Banner.

 

He arrived earlier than Tony and Natasha had, instead of coming early in the afternoon he had opted for early in the morning.

 

Darcy had been surprised when she saw him come in, the tasteless mess of eggs and ketchup in her mouth forgotten as he moved the chair from the middle of the beds to Darcy's side, away from Loki.

 

The nurse had been changing Loki's saline bag, seeing as the god refused to eat 'the disgusting midgardian food', when Bruce had come in but Loki tensed and had not been for his restraints, Darcy thought he would have bolted from the room.

 

Darcy continued to eat in silence, switching between looking at a tense Loki and a relaxed looking Bruce.

 

Bruce had been carrying papers with him when he came in and he focused on them for most of the morning, ignoring the tv and the small chatter between Darcy and her room companion.

 

“Listen whatever they tell you, no one is better than Spike. Fucking no one.” Darcy was glad Loki was ignoring their previous stupid conversation in favor of discussing Buffy.

 

“I do not understand, there is no character named Spike.” Loki frowned in confusion.

 

“Not yet, this just the first season but it's never too early to start loving Spike.”

 

The re-run of the Buffy episode ended and Darcy flipped channels until she came across the opening sequence of Megamind.

 

She left it there until Loki asked what it was about and she was forced to talk.

 

“It's about an a blue alien trying to take over the world.” She told him sharply and to her surprise she heard a muffled laugh coming from Bruce.

 

“I do no think it wise-”

 

“I don't care what you think wise, I love Megamind he's an awesome dude and you might even learn something, so shut up and watch it.”

 

The next two hours were spent with a grumpy Loki, but Darcy was beyond caring and no one was not letting her watch Megamind.

 

She had developed a crush on Megamind the first time she had watched the movie, never mind he was a blue cartoon but she loved his transformation into a good person who didn't change but instead adapted to his surroundings.

 

She never thought she would meet an actual blue alien one day, one with shape shifting abilities who wanted to take over the world and was misunderstood because that was exactly what Darcy was noticing with Loki.

 

The guy absorbed everything like a sponge, which included emotions. He didn't react well to negative emotions and he glowed under good ones, in the few times Thor had been by he had been stiff and impolite but receptive with a hungry look on his eyes. Thor had been turned away every time he was by but Loki always looked a little sad afterward, and he always demanded they watch comedy central to make himself feel better.

 

Not that he would actually tell her that.

 

“I'm Darcy by the way.” Darcy turned to Bruce once the movie was over and the silence became oppressing.

 

“I'm aware, they told us at the briefing.” Bruce continued to shift through his papers and Darcy was none to please to hear about the debriefing.

 

“That's not cool, it's not like I'm some sort of criminal master mind or anything.” Her biggest fault was knowing how to use computers.

 

Bruce shrugged, not looking away from his papers.

 

On her other side Loki was still staring intensely at the tv, which was now playing a re-run of Nip Tuck.

 

“You know the Smurfs?” Darcy asked Loki conversationally.

 

“I am unfamiliar.”

 

“They're this village of little blue men and kids love them.” She pulled out the phone Tony had given her, ignoring the now very interested Bruce, and tapped it until the tv was hacked.

 

She could have kissed Tony for giving the wifi she teased him with because now she could show Loki about the little blue men.

 

“Show him blue man.” Bruce told her distractedly.

 

“Blue man? The band?” Darcy questioned him after the first Smurfs episode started playing.

 

“They're a good band.” He insisted, looking stubbornly at his papers.

 

“Sure, if you say so.”

 

Loki watched the first episode in silence and then Darcy switched to blue man youtube videos.

 

Darcy was looking for one specific song when Loki spoke.

 

“So being blue in Midgard is, as you would say, cool?” Loki asked while she debated whether to show him the entire Daft Punk Interstellar videos.

 

“Well yeah, if you want to _pun_ it that way.” She laughed while raising her hand to high five Bruce, who merely gave her a glance before going back to his papers.

 

“Whatever, Tony would have high five me.” She pouted while the intro music to I'm Blue started playing from the tv.

 

**

Darcy didn't get to anticipate their next babysitter Avenger because Loki had gone off his meds.

 

Literally.

 

Turned out the 'saline' was actually Fentanyl, a drug a hundred times more powerful than morphine, and the reason Loki had been somewhat docile for most of his stay, which made Darcy very worried since Loki had been making the medical staff cry since he got there, Loki off his meds was trouble.

 

When Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, walked in she had been busy arguing with Loki about his bed.

 

“Do not dare me mortal.”

 

“No, you're not allowed to burn the bed dammit.”

 

“It is uncomfortable and unnecessary.”

 

“A bed is never unnecessary and hadn't you had enough fire already?”

 

“Wow, if you two need a second I can leave.” Clint raised his hands in surrendered and Darcy rolled her eyes before gesturing him in.

 

“Ah the Hawk, how is my little servant?” Loki purred and Clint's shoulders tensed but he kept walking until he reached the chair on the side of Darcy's bed.

 

“Is that typical behavior?” Clint gave her a pointed look that told her to explain.

 

“No, they took him off his meds today, the doctors told me they needed to take him out of the pain medication because he was becoming dependent, and really what's worse than Loki trying to take over the world? A drug addict Loki trying to take over the world. He's just grumpy.” She was still watching Loki as she explained, he looked worse for wear and she knew he was withdrawing.

 

His movements were sloppy and frantic and sweat covered his face, she felt sorry for him but she knew tomorrow he would be okay or at least that's what the doctor had told her.

 

“Sounds like fun.” Clint told her sarcastically and she shrugged before standing up to the bathroom.

 

Darcy was proud to say that after a week and a half of having a sling, she could do most things one handed so getting a plastic bowl from underneath the sink and filling it with cold water was not hard. Grabbing a small towel and dropping it in the water, she returned to the room to find Clint and Loki in a staring contest.

 

“Thor is taking you back to Asgard.”

 

“I would love to see him try.” Loki sneered and Darcy decided to end their little pissing contest.

 

“So me and Loki are watching a House marathon, you want to join us? I mean you can totally leave if you want to.” She told him as she put the bowl on Loki's bedside table.

 

“Can't leave.” Clint said miserably and Darcy gave him a smile as she made sure the towel was completely wet.

 

“Marvelous, now we can bond. Is it not marvelous Darcy?” Loki told her sarcastically, she nodded absentmindedly as she settled the towel on his forehead.

 

“Yes, it's awesome that we're all stuck here against our wills, completely hilarious.”

 

Darcy ran the towel across his cheek and Loki made an involuntary sound of pleasure, Clint smothered a chuckle and Darcy sent him an ugly look.

 

“The hawk laughs for he knows not real pain.” Loki murmured, eyes dropping closed.

 

Darcy continued to run the cool cloth across his face until he was completely asleep.

 

“You know, we've been here almost two weeks and not once has anyone attempted to give Loki a bath but...” The towel was completely clean and Loki didn't smell, Darcy had a brief moment of hate for him because _not fair._

 

“Gods.” Clint shrugged and Darcy was inclined to agree.

 

Fucking gods.

 

**

“Darcy.”

 

She closed her eyes and pretended to be sleeping.

 

“Darcy.”

 

She didn't open her eyes.

 

“Darcy!”

 

“What?!”

 

“I wish to show you something.” Loki was looking at her with an intense expression on his face, he twisted his face to signal her to get up and she begrudgingly did so, standing on the side of his bed.

 

“Are you still drugged up?” Darcy rubbed her face with her good hand and yawned.

 

“No, the haze from the midgardian drugs is gone.” He hesitated before struggling against his metal restraints, Darcy waited in fascination as he broke his restraints.

 

“Ummm...”

 

“I am slowly regaining my magic and my strength, more rapidly now without the hindrance of the drugs.” Loki sounded pleased and he stood up for the first time in two weeks.

 

Darcy stifled a laugh when he fully stood up and she was presented with his backside.

 

“Nice ass.” She commented while he made his way to the bathroom.

 

“Thank you.” He didn't even stumble at her words.

 

“You're not going to leave?” She asked him when he came out twenty minutes later, freshly shower and wearing the same hospital gown.

 

“No, not yet.” He didn't elaborate while he walked the length of the room, trying to get some blood flowing.

 

“I assume you have destroy the devices in the room?” He flexed his arms and rubbed at his wrists.

 

“You mean the cameras? Yeah with the phone Tony gave me. You were covered in burns, what happened to those?”

 

“I am a god, I heal faster than any mortal ever could, however this is not the what I wished to show you.” He sat on his bed and patted the space next to him.

 

“Oh what is it then?” She sat next to him, injured arm to his side.

 

Loki took a deep breath before he extended his arms in front of him, he stayed that way for a few minutes and Darcy started to get fidgety.

 

“What-” But she didn't get to finish when she started to notice the color of his skin change, a dark blue which she could barely make out in the darkness of the room.

 

It spread from the tip of his fingers to underneath his gown until it reached his face, the room felt colder and she shiver with sudden chills.

 

Loki turned to look at her and even in the darkness she could she see the red eyes staring back at her.

 

“Darcy-” Loki didn't get to finish because she had already pounced on him.

 

His lips were cold, colder than what she thought they would be but still soft, he opened his mouth and invited her in and she unhesitatingly accepted.

 

If his lips had been cold than his tongue was on fire, it didn't make sense but it felt wonderful, the cold of his skin and hotness of his mouth made her want to touch him everywhere.

 

She explored his skin, soft in some place, harder in others. His hair had ice on its ends and she played with it, breaking the ice apart and sending it to the floor, only for it to come back.

 

She only backed away from him when she started feeling dizzy, her injured arm was crushed between them though the cold coming from Loki's skin prevented it from hurting.

 

She tried to talk but realized her lips were numb, she slurred a couple of words before giving up and instead she just sat there looking up at him.

 

“Are you tongue tied, dear Darcy?” He murmured while he leaned to run the tip of his nose through her neck.

 

She tried to take again through the new tingling sensation on her neck but her lips would just not stop being numb, before she could try again a noise came from the hallway and Loki stopped his ministrations to focus on the noise.

 

“Time for bed.” He whispered, giving her one last lingering kiss before he turned back to his regular pinkish hue.

 

She was weak at the knees but she managed to drag herself to her bed.

 

“Loki, next time we have make out session let's make sure to do it in the desert okay?”

 

**

Their babysitter was Captain America.

 

Steve Rogers was just what she expected he would be, well physically anyway.

 

“Ma'am, Steve Rogers.” He shook her hand and Darcy raised her eyebrows in amusement.

 

“Oh? You get to be nice to the prisoner?”

 

Steve blushed and ducked his head but Darcy gave Loki a look of challenge.

 

Loki, pretending to still be tied to the bed, raised one eyebrow in question and Darcy glanced between him and Steve, who was now sitting between them in the uncomfortable chair all the Avengers seemed to be in love with.

 

Why none of them had thought to bring in a more comfortable chair was beyond her.

 

“You know Steve, me and Loki are always _eager_ to have company.” She batted her eyelashes at him and Steve blushed a deeper shade of pink before clearing his throat.

 

“Indeed we do, games are always more fun with people around.” Loki quipped.

 

“Of course we love to include as _many_ people as we can, the more the merrier I say.” She playful slapped his arm and Steve tensed even more.

 

“Yes we especially love having people watch us while we copulate.” Loki sent Steve a big smile but Steve looked stumped.

 

“Copulate?”

 

“Conjoin.” Loki tried again but Steve still looked confused.

 

“Conjoin?”

 

“Fornicate, mate, connect, couple-”

 

“Sex.” Darcy cut in.

 

“Fondue?!”

 

“Fondue?” Darcy and Loki both questioned at the same time, though Darcy was sure for two very different reasons.

 

“How?” Steve asked as his eyes jump from her to a bed bound Loki.

 

“Creatively.” Darcy answered with a smirk and wiggle of her eyebrows.

 

“Indeed, it is more than a pleasure to be... creative with Darcy.” Loki raised his hips in a suggestive manner and Darcy coughed to avoid laughing.

 

“Oh Loki, you're so sweet. How about you Steve? Are you sweet?” Darcy touched Steve's thigh and squeezed.

 

That seemed to be the breaking point for Steve, who stood up so fast Darcy though his feet might be on fire.

 

There was a moment of silence after Steve shut the door where Darcy didn't know whether to laugh or cry for poor Steve.

 

“You think Coulson will kill us for breaking his favorite superhero?”

 

“Perhaps. Darcy”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What is fondue?”

 

“Oh Loki, I love that you ask the hard hitting questions.”

 

**

“Mortal, it is purging day. You should have been prepared for this.”

 

Loki was trying to convince their newest nurse that today was something called 'purging day', a day where apparently Loki got rid of his waste for the month. Darcy though the entire joke was beyond horrid but Loki had that gleeful look on his face and Darcy could see the nurse was breaking.

 

“Preparations should have been done many moons ago, purging day is the most celebrated day by my people how dare you ruin it?” Loki sneered at the nurse, who ran for the door with tears threatening to run down her face.

 

“Time.”

 

“Almost five minutes, new record.” It had becoming a thing for her to time how long it took him to break a new nurse, the longest being a veteran nurse who didn't take shit from anybody but who eventually cracked under the pressure of treating not only a prince but an alien prince over two thousands years old.

 

Loki didn't have time to gloat or feel happy about his new record because Thor and Jane walked in then.

 

“Ah Thor, we have been expecting you.” Loki told him sarcastically, Darcy rolled her eyes in exasperation because she knew what was next.

 

Loki had been talking about it since he got off his meds and Darcy was both anxious and sad about it, Loki wanted to have a heart to heart with Thor before leaving.

 

“Brother!” Thor looked happy about Loki's words, she wondered how thick Thor was to not realized the hatred rolling off Loki's body, or maybe he chose not to see it.

 

“Darcy, it has been a true pleasure.” Loki gave her what she hoped was a sincere smile before making his restraints disappeared.

 

She wasted no time in doing what Loki had told her to do once he was ready to leave, grabbing a shocked Jane on the way, she made her way quickly to the door and closed it behind her not before catching a glimpse of Loki in his full armor.

 

“BROTHER WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!”

 

The building shook underneath her and she felt a gush of wind coming from the room.

 

She was holding on to Jane, or maybe Jane was holding on to her, when the rest of the Avengers came in.

 

“Loki's gone.” She said before any of them could ask her what happened.

 

After that she was taken to a conference room with Agent Coulson, for a series of debriefings and a physical examination to remove her sling.

 

Thor came back hours later, physically okay but eyes red.

 

Jane volunteered to take her to her apartment and once they were both sitting on Jane's couch sipping on grape juice in fancy wine glasses, Darcy let herself talk a little more about what happened with Loki, way more than what she had said during six hours of debriefings.

 

“You know what I regret the most though?” She polished off her grape juice and wished vainly that is real wine.

 

“What's that?” Jane had been compassionate and kind though Darcy knew she would have been consoling Thor had he not run off somewhere to be on his own for a while.

 

“Me and Loki didn't get to fondue, and that my friend is the real tragedy.”

 

**

A couple days later she was ready to go back to New Mexico and she couldn't have been more glad.

 

The whole experience with Loki had been disturbing and surreal, but worth it.

 

She and Jane were at the airport when Tony caught up with them.

 

“Hacker two point oh, you're not leaving without telling me are you? because that's just rude.” He poked her on the arm in mock reprimand, making her giggle.

 

“I'm going back to New Mexico.” She stated while her flight was announced on the intercom.

 

“What? Why? You were suppose to come and work for me.” Tony asked while giving her a completely baffled look.

 

“Yeah that's not happening, I'm going back to New Mexico because I'm going to law school.”

 

“Law school?! But that's boring.”

 

“I'm going to be a lawyer and SHIELD promised to forget about me as long as I don't hack into another government agency so...” She shrugged and gather her bag in her good hand, her left arm was better but still painful and hard to work with.

 

Tony was quiet for a second before he got a gleeful look on his face.

 

“Law school is like three years right? I can have you after?” He looked hopeful and Darcy shrugged again.

 

“Sure, maybe I can work in your legal department.”

 

She gave Jane a hug and a kiss before slapping Tony on the shoulder and telling him to let it go, he was still pouting when she boarded her flight.

 

The stewardess guided her to a window seat in first class, courtesy of SHIELD, and she leaned back and closed her eyes.

 

“I could have just teleported us anywhere.” Loki told her as he sat down on the seat next to her.

 

“Hush, I like flying.” She leaned against his shoulder, eyes still closed.

 

“I still find it unnecessary.”

 

“ _Hush_ and maybe I'll tell you what fondue is.”


End file.
